Barely a Hash

The night was dark and stormy – and that was just the burbourn cans in the car park - -where is everyone mummered AllDaySuckHer – maybe just us tonight – nah Babe, AllDay replied – Frosty will be here any minute. Then appeared the poof (of smoke) Running Bare hare and his hash helper Sqeeakk in the Chevy. Go home – no hash tonight - too wet – just joking. The throng gathered – we have a Virgin coming tonight – oooh really – Trust Me doubted that would happen - the Virgin did come and got right into the spirit of things – hashers drink w o w – does that include drinking games – I can show you a few if I can only remember them - geez. As the pack had trouble circling Running Bear drew a circle - a circle of hashers circled around the circle. If there were arrows they would look like this Running Bear said - sketching away madly on the asphelt with his blue chalk from the $2 shop - a masterpiece he deducted and wanted to put a barbed wire fence around it and charge for viewing. Only little bitsy bush tonight - translation - lots-a-bush – and a l o n g dark tunnel - dont be afraid SweetA - the hare would be right behind you and your sweetA keeping you both safe.

Walkers this way - Runners this way. Walkers faithfully followed hash helper Squeeak with her trusty memory and map - Running Bare unanimously decided to be a live hair - hashers do wonder sometimes if RB is indeed alive. On some roads - which way - ahhh it was the Hare asking – out of the blue appeared the blue chalk arrow - it was onon. OnOn into THE tunnel - RB was beside himself with joy as he entered this dark dank space. OnOn in-out to the other side - into the true-blue land of hash bush. Only two ways to go was the cry from the pack - straight ahead for the walkers - left for the runners - Trust Me found a third way - how does he do that? OnOn through the bush - up up out of the bush, right turn onon streets, onin to the drink stop. No fortified wine tonight - this was a 100% classy drink stop - PassionPop – Hand Job was now beside herself with joy – this takes me back 10 years to my mis-spend youth she reminisced - there were lashings of vodka - orange juice - creammy something - possibly home dis-stilled and numerous other bottles lined the disabled table top (you had to be there) along with the licorice all sorts - no AllDaySukers tonight - but there were mini CherryRipes. It was here that the VirginShane demonstrated his true blue hashing style - I'll just add a tiny bit of orange to this glass of vodka. There were rumblings - we have to go now - no way - you must have one more drink said the hare - lighten the load for Squeeak - she cant possibly carry all these 1/2 full bottles back to the car - much too heavy. After the longest drink stop in Wanderers Hashing History it was on-off. Walkers following Sqeeak at a fast pace - the bucket awaits - Follow me said the hare if you want a nice long run on home to sweat out the vodka - confusion reigned - walkers and runners headed in the same direction. About turn for the runners - and onon streets and round-a-bouts. Flashing hash lights attached to hashers went round and round and round the round-a-bouts – National Lampoons Hashing Vacation in Lindfield - once on a round-a-bout cant get off.

Then it was onon to the Circle. This week the down downs were administered by the acting assistant Beer Wench - No Way. The usual down down for a crap run to Running Bear and down down for great walk to Squeeak. Various Trust Me and AllDay down downs and a meaningless down down to Hand Job from Frosty. The run report was given by AllDay - sh*t run - the walkers report by No Way who has been having lessons from BrenGun on how to say a lot without actually saying anything but when condensed into two words - excellent walk. Combination run/walk score - 9.5-2.3 +0.1 = 8.6.

Down Down AND Virgin Song to the Virgin - who gave an eloquent speech on how he came to be at hash and how he will continue to hash and how he and Trust Me have become best buddies in five minutes because they are Poles apart.

AGAIN the prick of the week went to Love Bra - clearly he has fallen in love with the shirt.

Then it was onon to the onin - The spiffy Koon Thai Restaurant. Here the hashers partook of delectible dishes chosen by No Way. There was much frivolity at the onin - obviously fuelled by the intake of vodka and PassionPop earlier in the evening.

Then it was on home. Another great daylight saving run. . . if only it were daylight saving . . .

OnOn

Anon the Writer

PS

And what happens in the car park stays in the car park - literally. . . .